As part of the largest study ever undertaken on human sexuality, in 1948 Alfred Kinsey found that nothing had more influence upon present-day patterns of sexual behaviour than the religious backgrounds of that culture.

Although the source of this original sexual wounding is religious it has so taken hold in our culture (western world) that it affects all of us.

One of the results of living in a sex negative culture is that as children we learn that exploring our bodies, and masturbation is immoral and unhealthy.

Shame and guilt is passed down from generation to generation.

Kinsey in his study called the stigmatising of masturbators a form of sexual abuse.

Because of the guilt and shame ridden through this part of our being, the psyche gets wise and one way to avoid sexual feelings ( and many other feelings for that matter) is TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF THE BODY

By adopting a way of being where we are in disconnection from our bodies we actually limit all sorts of feelings not just sexual pleasure excitement and bliss. We learn to shallow breathe to avoid accessing states of feeling. This shallow breath creates a forever present feeling of unease, if we tune in and feel. It is only by using a fuller breath, breathing down into the belly, that we can access the parasympathetic ( rest and digest) part of our nervous system which is the nervous system that down regulates our body and creates relaxation.

With regards to our sexuality, another outcome that has resulted from this disconnection to feeling, and ultimately pleasure is what Almaas defines as the “Genital Hole”

Kind of like a psychic self castration Almaas describes the experience of the “genital hole” as-

“”(The Genital Hole) is the experience of the genital area as a dark, empty hole, with no anatomical parts. The individual feels and sometimes envisions a lack, an absence between the thighs. The experience can be very definite and clear, with the boundaries of the hole clearly demarcated. It almost feels like a physical experience, even though the individual is always aware that the hole is not physical.”

This energetic and psychic block creates a constriction of feeling and of pleasure.

Sometimes, the Genital Hole is first experienced as chronic pelvic pain. Untreated, chronic pain can then lead to physical numbness. Chronic pelvic pain and numbness are pandemic in our time.
Here is one description of how chronic pelvic pain evolves, from the excellent book A Headache In The Pelvis by David Wise, Ph.D. and Rodney Anderson, M.D.:
“We have identified a group of chronic pelvic pain syndromes that are caused by the overuse of the human instinct to protect the genitals, rectum and contents of the pelvis from injury or pain by contracting the pelvic muscles. This tendency becomes exaggerated in predisposed individuals and over time results in pelvic pain and dysfunction. The state of chronic constriction creates pain-referring trigger points, reduced blood flow, and an inhospitable environment for the nerves, blood vessels and structures throughout the pelvic basin. This results is a cycle of pain, anxiety and tension which has previously been un-recognized and untreated.”

We can heal the genital hole through working with clearing our guilt and shame around ourselves as sexual beings.

One of the most popular ways I work with clients is to help them design their own orgasmic yoga practice.

Orgasmic yoga – is an umbrella term for an erotic practice which infuses mindful masturbation – focussing on sensation and feelings in the body, and being present with oneself rather than fantasy or something outside of oneself,
exploring how breath, sound and movement move energy through the body and enhance embodiment, and clear our system of negative/stuck energy
intention, healing, focus, spiritual connection

One can also combine Orgasmic Yoga with:
mirror work
shamanic healing

i have found this the most powerful way to work with clients, supporting them to develop their own unification with their sexuality.

Another powerful way to heal shame is through group work, the ISTA training an 7/8 day long Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Experience it is a complete re-wiring of our relationship to sexuality. It also focusses on healing, and re-patterning our embodiment, and reference point for healthy masculine and feminine energies.

So how does this influence our lives? with a new reference point for the feminine and masculine energies, old stereotypes and ways of being begin to fall away, empowering our lives, our relationships and our sense of meaning and purpose in the world.

The next ISTA training in New Zealand is happening 19-25th Nov at Highden Manor

For more information on the beautiful New Zealand Temple of Highden visit :

If you can’t wait that long and would like to dip your toe in the water then I have great news for you!

I am offering a taste of ISTA ( International School of Temple Arts) together with Rahim Ryan – we will be facilitating a Re-claiming of the Sacred Temple of the Body. This day is also re-clamation of the holy temples of the genitals.

These most intimate and sensitive parts of our bodies are portals to the Divine.

An orgasm is the closest thing we have in this dimension to the Divine.

A human being can be created through the act of sex!

A life comes in through the process of sex!…. think about this….

How on earth can this act be shameful and anything less than holy?

The distortion of the life-force of sexuality and the shame that has been placed upon it has resulted in a mis-representation of this most potent and sacred part of ourselves in our culture.

Porn and much of the sex industry has nothing to do with embodied sexuality, and is mostly in fact an exploitation of this most potent and sacred force of energy, which is our link to the DIVINE, to source, to creator, to that which we come from and to whom we will return.

If you would like to make steps to heal your sexuality, to re-claim it as the powerful voice of the Divine that it is, to re-claim your birthright to bliss pleasure and ease, to inhabit your whole body and being, and feel more fully the grounded-ness of who you are then come for a taste of ISTA, come and re-claim your body.

I guarantee you will want to sign up for more.

Connect to your power, your passion your purpose and your love, there was a reason those that wanted to control us made us fear, and feel guilt around our sexuality- it took our power away!

Come and re-claim it!

See you on the 25th at Blockhouse bay Boat-club