What can I share that will summarise why I might be a good guide for you?
I guess it’s mainly because of the journey I’ve chosen to take in this lifetime.
I’ve often wondered why I held such a fascination with all things spiritual. Why I was always a seeker?
In my earlier days and maybe some more recently than I’d like to admit I sought the spiritual realms as a way to try to get out of here!
There has been times in my life when I just felt this world was too God damn hard, struggle and suffering had felt too much, and I looked out into humanity and didn’t like what I saw.
So I reached for the light, for the love, for the angels and another reality and dimension to soothe my suffering.
Fast forward a few years, with some inner work my beliefs began to change, and I started to see that there were humans who were good, in fact, there were a lot of amazing ones!
My confidence in this world and being on Earth improved. Not everyone was driven from their own purely selfish needs, and I started to come to realise deep down how most of my own, on the surface altruistic endeavours, were rooted in some sense of survival or satisfaction for ME.
I started to get more easy-going about this part of human nature, even finding compassion for our selfish survival side. We cannot help it, we are animals whose intent is survival no matter how grandiose our heart’s desire to love, our nervous systems are wired for survival.
My journey into embodiment, ie living here on earth and actually inhabiting my body, feeling myself fully in everything I am doing, taught me this. Yes we do love and we do have a desire to connect and give, and be generous AND we are mammals, who are very sensitively attuned to danger and survival.
Coming down out of living in just the mind and head, ( and in my case floating out there somewhere in space completely off the planet) letting go of being attached to only love and light and bypassing the human experience I realised there is a whole lot of stuff happening in my body. I saw that my body is trying to tell me something it’s influencing my thoughts, behaviours and beliefs.
What happened as a result of listening to my body has been a beautiful and excruciating journey of unravelling. It has been a path of descent, a going down into all the nitty-gritty of earthly life, a humbling yet empowering journey of taking off many layers of armour.
In order to do this we first need to feel safe in our skin.
Feeling safe, that wonderful feeling when you can just be in yourself, happy, alive, relaxed, capable, comfortable, well, in tune with your surroundings, and lastly sometimes the hardest one to feel safe with — deeply connected to others.
You might ask, what is she talking about? Safe of course I am safe with my friends, the people I love, the bloke in the corner shop I say hi to, my colleagues , my boss, my kids, and this is partially true, because most of the time you feel like you are.
Except when you’re not, except in those moments when something is said or done and you feel your heart beat faster, your breath suddenly feel stuck in your throat, you’re not thinking about what they are saying anymore, you’re just waiting for them to stop, so that you can tell them what you think, or how they are wrong and you get my drift… its either, defence or attack, or shut down and walk away.
Or when you find yourself at the mercy of your environment, society, government, and you want the outside to change so that you can feel safe.
Sometimes we think we feel safe and then, when we begin to feel more deeply into our body, we realise our shoulders are up around our ears, we aren’t even breathing, we’re definitely not relaxed. Is that really your body telling you it feels safe?
Modern life, the way most of us are living does not often inspire a feeling of relaxation and safety in the body.
So how can we learn to feel safe in these situations, and to learn to respond in a more empowering way? How can we learn to exist and move from a relaxed state?
How can we learn that its even safe to feel our feelings in this world, that moves so fast, and is filled with much unrest. A world where you have to be successful and if you’re not having a great day then you’re some kind of loser?
There is not one answer to these questions. But questions like these took me to some interesting places.
The first was Spirit, I tried to connect deeply to Spirit as a way to feel good, to feel safe and to transform the suffering in my life. I had some very powerful deeply connected experiences that taught me that existence is not just what we can see and touch here, there is more to discover and our potential is huge! We are actually infinite and can commune with Angels, Ascended Masters, Extra Terrestrial intelligence, Nature Divas, our Higher Self, we are energy beings and we are multi-dimensional, there are forces that are supporting us to grow, to open and to evolve.
But ultimately I was still suffering in my human life, I found my emotions hard to deal with, I picked relationships that weren’t empowering, my financial life was messy, I didn’t know how to communicate or find my limits.
When I hit rock bottom after a relationship ended and my self worth was in tatters I stumbled upon the world of Conscious Sexuality, and a whole new world opened up to me.
Initially I went there to try to learn how to have a better sex life, what I got was so much more than that. I learnt about boundaries, consent — both verbal and with the body. I learnt to fully feel myself, and authentically find my yes and my no. I learnt to actually say no without apologising which was new to me. I learnt to be with my emotions in an empowering way instead of feeling them as a weight, an encumbrance. I learned to move energy through my body and actually open my body up to have a bigger capacity to feel, I began to release the generations of shame from my system, healing wounds from the past, from my early childhood and connecting in a very embodied and grounded way to other dimensions.
And finally I started to begin my journey of feeling safe here, in this body, in relation to the world outside.
It’s still a journey that I am on, I still struggle sometimes to feel truly safe with others, to feel fully open relaxed and at ease with people. My brain says one thing “ its all good” but my nervous system and body have another story, it’s slowly unwinding and as it does so more of me is becoming available to life.
I’m experiencing way more sensation and aliveness, more relaxation in my day to day life.
And I can help you to achieve this too.
I’ll help you to get a more grounded and self-assured feeling of being able to confront and withstand challenge firmly anchored within you.
Develop the capacity to allow emotional waves to roll through more easily not collapsing into them for days and days at a time.
Learn valuable skills that support you to move through the battles inside of yourself.
Have more awareness of when you are triggered as you learn to be more connected to your felt sense and bodily information slowing down, noticing when you’re becoming reactive.
Feel way more safety and ease during sex which generates way more pleasure than you can possibly imagine from simply relaxing! And not doing so much in sex! It’s a big key!
And much more….
Please get in touch if this feels like what you want.