What has happened to sex today?

Why are so many couples in distress maybe openly but often secretly in their sex lives?

Why is ED as common as the common cold?

Why do so many women in their later years or when in longer term relationships move away from their partners physically and away from sex? Lose their desire their attraction to their partner sexually.

These are some of the questions my vagina woke me up with this morning at 6am.

This is what she has to say:

“ What I yearn for is for my true feminine fragrance to be released, in order to do this I have to fully soften to open and surrender deeply into being a woman. Then to be penetrated to my very core with love. A love that doesn’t need to get anything – because love doesn’t , a love that isn’t trying to make me come because love -doesn’t, a love that isn’t seeking approval for its performance by which sounds I am making or how my body is moving – because love doesn’t , that isn’t afraid to stand in the face of my despair or their own, that isn’t going to leave and run away when things feel dull, dead, motionless, quiet, or try to fix my pain, or tell me anything other than I’m loved – because that is what love does. Love stands in the fire’s of  hell without being burnt, with the wind beating, the winds howling, the rain pouring in, the flood gates opening without moving if that is what is required to penetrate to the core of me.”

Our society has forgotten how to be men and women.

We have merged into a homogenised version of ourselves, with so many mixed messages we have lost touch with our true innate sexual polarity as men and women. The positive and negative poles inside the sexual organs have lost their charge.

Women have become doers sexually focused on goals, losing touch with our deep inner knowing, not listening to the quiet calling deep within the heart.

Men have become frightened versions of themselves, chasing some fantasy or intimidated and feeling less of a man when their cocks no longer want to come to the party.

I’m going to make a bold statement here but I believe at the route of all ED (Erectile disfunction) and lack of libido in women is the loss of this polarity, this electrical charge between men and women. Just like two magnets we fit together we actually are drawn together when the correct charge of the positive and negative, if you try to turn the magnet around… what happens? yes repelling … they resist one another. Feel familiar sexually? Have you experienced this feeling? maybe you over rode it, maybe you got so used to over riding it for so many years that the electrical charge has begun to malfunction, I believe this malfunction has-been happening for life-times and its deep within our cellular memory, its in our DNA.

The cervix in the women’s vagina represents the deepest part of her feminine nature, when this pole is fully charged with energy it literally draws the penis in like a magnet. The problem is that most women’s cervixes are armoured and numb and at worst painful. Which translates to the deepest part of our feminine nature is armoured and numb and at worst in deep pain from being ignored, not listened to, over ridden, forgotten.

Sexually as women we absolutely long to open fully and surrender ourselves completely, we long to be penetrated to the core with love, absolute love. I’m not a man but I’m guessing what men want is to experience this and straight men to feel a women open soften and fully surrender to him, completely. I am sure men long to feel the power of love in their cocks and to take a women into deep ecstatic surrender simply by bringing their presence into her.

I have been in the world of Tantra and Conscious Sexuality intensively for the last 6 years, I have been focused on healing my own deep wounds and transforming my sexuality into something magical, sacred and I want to say holy, because it is, and when you have this part of yourself start to become more fully alive you do start to feel whole through the holiness of it. I have been journeying through the realms of Polyamory and Poly-agony, of monogamy and lack of desire leading to celibacy. I have been journeying through some wild places inside and out. Its been quite a ride!

I have been supporting individuals, couples and groups to heal and transform their sexuality for the last 4-5years, but on a journey with Tantra for the last 17. You could say this has been an obsession of mine, which started with books and reading and then experiencing an incredible peak state once during sex when I slipped into a high state of samadhi after practicing some techniques with my partner, it was so profound I didn’t want to speak about it afterwards I simply sat in awe, to this day I don’t know if he had the same experience, as we just sat in silence afterwards bathed in an incredibly peaceful energy which had no words within it. This experience radically changed me and I began a quest to understand what happened. This experience among others which were more traumatic, abusive and depressing actually is what motivated me to dive deeply into my sexuality and seek to uncover its mysteries, my mysteries.

So I know the power of this thing called sex, I know its potential and its capacity to transport us into awakened states of being. This may seem like pie in the sky, an unobtainable dream for some, isn’t sex just supposed to be about pleasure? Well yes and there’s nothing wrong with that, but at some point in your journey you are going to get bored of that, it may take lifetimes I don’t know, maybe for some the desire simply isn’t there to awaken through sex, maybe for some people a really good orgasm is enough! I suppose it depends on what you want, do you want to have a great orgasm or do you want to go to God?

Well how about both?

Lets have it all!

Lets embrace it all, lets enjoy the ride the journey the discovery, the excitement of re-awakening our sexuality to its true innate, natural state. lets journey deeply, lets play with this, but lets have a focus, not a goal, but lets take a position, point in the one direction we long for and be pulled by that thread, and let that thread be love and truth and the purity of that.

It’s time to get really honest, to hold back all judgment of ourselves and each other, to forgive…..we got lost, and come back to love and to truth, and begin that journey in that direction.

It’s just time to get really honest with ourselves, and ask yourself , is this working?

Well thats what I’m doing right now and my sincere hope is that it inspires you to do the same.