“You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” ―Morpheus, The Matrix
Phew its been an intense time of late! last week especially, but yes life is rich, epic full bodied, and INTENSE at times!
Still thats what you get when you sign up for extra-ordinary life. (what the hell did I sign up for anyway, it used to be Enl
ightenment, but that dream left me ages ago.
I realised that by chasing or trying to be in a particular state, I was denying a huge part of why I was here, and that was to be HUMAN! )
At some point in my life I took the red pill can’t remember when it was.
But these days I’m just into trying to be a good human.
One of the things I have learnt alongside this journey of trying to be a good human is that sometimes shadow work is needed in order to grow and evolve into the next level of yourself.
This usually shows up when shit is happening in your life and you have the feeling that it’s everyone else and not you that has the issue … hahahaha.
Pay special attention if it is triggering your emotional body.
Key signs could be wanting to avoid certain people.
Having judgements about people.
I’m all for PLAY in life PLAY is a massive part of our human journey… FUCK i’m here to have a good time whilst trying to be a good human, infact I wanna be a GREAT human, why stop at good.
But I do want to have fun too!
Anyway, I digress, FUN is very important to me, christ especially when you are on this path of self growth, it can get way too serious!
However , lets not forget there is work to do too, especially if you are serious about having GREAT relationships, learning to really love humanity and all the crazy creatures called humans in it.
The work I am talking about rig
ht now is shadow work.
Shadow is not necessarily the evil dark parts although these are usually the parts we suppress and disown.
Our shadow is that which is hiding in our subconscious or unconscious. It is the part of us we do not want to see, quite often it can be super painful to own, and accept.
But I’ll tell you something interesting EV
ERYONE ELSE CAN SEE IT! and quite often they are just too nice to say anything. Maybe they will just avoid that part of you, maybe they will mention it to others.
It’s good to get this shit sorted, or it creates havoc in your life!
The thing is about these darker , denser energies that are usually held in the shadow, when they are owned, brought to awareness (ie where they are playing out in your life), and here is the massive key INTEGRATED and embodied these energies (or sub-personalities some people like to see them as) become amazing allie
I also want to talk into embodiment of these energies. What happens is when we have parts of ourselves that are held in our unconscious, that are dis-owned or denied – they become spilt off from us and dis-embodied.
They are hungry for our love and like an ignored, unloved or despised person they are usually pretty feral parts of ourselves ( and we’ve all g
ot them!). They need to be felt in our energetic field, and embodied i.e. taken into our hearts and accepted.
It can be awful to embody them it can feel like you really do not want that in you at all, you often want to destroy it.
I have had times in my own healing journey when I felt like it was a possession, like an evil force outside of me that would take over.
There has been times when I have needed to call in extra angelic energy to really fully feel and embody my own loving, compassionate beauty, that can sit with people for hours, that is so selfless, so kind, and caring and so light and really swell that up in order to TAKE IN the self-centred powerful dark bitch that I am connectin
g to, it has felt very painful to take her in.
It can almost feel like she is not a part of me, ye
t I can recognise her in my thoughts, in the background , hidden but ever in there, on guard, ready to pounce.
****NB.The trick is here, to feel into the shadow energy and then move towards embodying it, let it run through you, let it speak, let it act out, let it have it’s say. Give it full permission to express (consciously with yourself or with someone holding space). And when the time feels right, you want to tune into where this energy
is, if it is outside of your body you need to take it in. You want to feel this shadow energy viscerally in the body, sometimes this isn’t easy and you may need support to work through what is in the way of doing this.*********
Once she is in my heart though, we become allies, I can see where she serves me, and in my work where she can serve the greater good.
Where she gives me access to power, and self belief to keep going even when shit gets tough. She gives me the conviction to hold a vision
a dream and attract people to it.
It is her that can stand in the face of fear immoveable- and I fucking love her!
She keeps me safe, she actually popped out on the dance floor the other night when a very drunk “gentleman” didn’t listen to my boundaries after 5 times of telling him! You don’t fuck with her.
She is the part of me that will not let me be a #metoo statistic she has so much fiesty courage and when she is integrated and loved with in me I feel her as the most incredible queen and servant of my heart. She always has what is best for me in the forefront, and we all know how important self-love is.
She does need to be balanced with my light qu
een though, and now I can feel them both in my heart, I can feel how a beautiful union, and sisterhood can develop within.
I’d like to give a special thanks and acknowledgement to Janine Ma-Ree ( my friend, colleague, soul sister and teacher for her support over the years, for helping me and holding me and supporting me, so incredibly, from the other side of my computer, helping me to integrate all that is not loved.
If you feel you’d like some support with integrating your shadow, I am available for private sessions over zoom or in person, seems shadow integration is turning into a speciality of mine.